Cake, please.

A couple of weeks after I turned 18 I began fitting my life into little cardboard boxes.

Tucked away in the spaces between those cardboard constructs have been piles of clothing, stacks of books, neatly folded posters, boxes of tea, and other knick-knacks that somehow I've subconsciously labeled as "essential for life".... and with those boxes and the various objects that resided within I have joined in the seemingly necessary crusades that one must take across the country, world, and, more recently, a home state, to college, where I unpacked them, settled temporarily, re-packed them, and left again. Onto a new march.

I can't tell you how many times I've done this and how many times my friends have done this. I can't tell you how bizarre of a process it is....how, at the end of the day, I can't settle, I won't settle, and I somehow know that I shouldn't settle... not for the next few years at least. I can't wrench that idea from my mind... no matter how appealing it may be to do so.

But there's also that shocking and lingering realization. The realization that we can define our lives in stages- by the moments that we spend between the ever-looming and oh-so ritualistic unpacking and re-packing of those cardboard boxes.... and the fact that we can derive so much comfort in the steps we've taken in the frigid air towards our front doors, with the turning of that brass doorknob, the opening of that creaky wooden door, the first heavy step we take into our apartments, and the bombardment of our senses with the familiar smells of a temporary home.

How enchanting, the blend of the permanent and temporary.

I'm about to pack again. Can you tell? First, I somehow have to get through four finals.... but until then I've discovered a slightly healthy (mostly, just "not unhealthy") cake to help. It requires very few ingredients, nothing exotic. Oh. and it tastes really good too.

Vegan Chocolate Cake
adapted from Cucina Nicolina

1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour (I used 1 cup flour and 1/2 cup wheat bran)
3/4 cup sugar (I think you could get away with 2/3rds)
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 tsp baking powder (or 1 tsp soda and 1 tsp vinegar)
1/2 tsp. salt
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup water

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit

Mix dry ingredients in a medium-sized bowl. Add wet ingredients. Stir until mixture is incorporated. Pour in a pan and bake for 45 minutes (or until it passes the clean toothpick test).

Enjoy. I ate mine with almond butter. mmm.

A sense of transition

Oh man. There's no stopping it.

I'm at the cusp of adulthood. You know, the edge of the cliff that leads to that world we never imagined we'd ever reach- where people have desk jobs, and go to graduate school, and pay all of the bills. The feeling is making me cherish the ups and downs of college more than ever. In fact, I'm holding onto these remaining school days for my dear life... stumbling about and writing crazy things about the experience, like the following:

Youth is the sip of that bitter coffee, and the thought that despite all of the tragedy in the world that swells like a spilled puddle of liquid and touches you with its very edges, you can still stare at the night sky and find the innermost serenity in nothing at all.

CRAZY right!? (I hope you know I omitted about 5 other sentences in the interest of your sanity). So I figured that I should take a break from navigating the streams of consciousness and return to what is truly good. Do you remember when we had a mandatory snack time in first grade? Well, I do. I mean, how could I not?

The other night, I was struck by a bit of inspiration (and that longing for a bit of sweetness after dinner that starts out like a small whim and as time passes somehow transforms into a giant, insatiable wildebeest!) So I decided, given the sparse contents of my pantry, to make a small batch of cookies. After a lengthy search, I discovered some peanut butter cookies on this site, and made them right away. For some reason, upon taking my first bite I was flooded with memories of elementary school... and the ten minute snack breaks we'd take to sit out on the benches in front of class and munch on graham crackers while peeling away the paint on the bench with our fingertips. Ah! The simplicity of it all!

And if you need this brief remembrance of things past, please don't hesitate to bake these cookies.

Peanut Butter Graham-Cracker-like Cookies

I'm giving them this unappealing title because with the addition of a bit of cocoa powder and cinnamon, the flavor of these changed dramatically from that of the original recipe! I also made a quarter batch, but I'm going to give you the recipe for the whole just in case.

Practically entirely stolen from 101 Cookbooks

2 cups whole wheat flour
1 tsp. baking soda
3/4 tsp. fine salt
1 cup natural peanut butter (I used 1/2 cup peanut and 1/2 cup almond butter)
1 cup honey
1/3 cup olive or canola oil
*1 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract (optional, I didn't have any on hand)
1 heaping tablespoon cocoa powder
1/2- 1 tsp. cinnamon (to taste)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit

Mix the dry ingredients (flour, baking soda, salt, cocoa powder, and cinnamon) together in a bowl. Set aside.

Now here's the first place where I strayed from the recipe. I heated the oil, peanut butter, and honey on low heat so as to incorporate all of the ingredients. You certainly don't have to do this if you think everything will mix nicely. Either way, mix the wet ingredients in a bowl.

Combine the dry and wet ingredients, but don't over-mix. Heidi recommends that you chill the dough for an hour or so, but I took my tablespoon, shaped some cookies, and plopped them on the baking sheet to bake right away...and my cookies turned out just fine. Oh! and after placing the cookies on the baking sheet, make a quick flat indentation with your fork. They don't seem to flatten out much otherwise. You only want to cook them for 10 minutes or a little less- if not, they'll dry up!

Enjoy!

Never fall far from the tree

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about apples.

Well, actually, I've been eating them non-stop. For some reason I'm battling another cold... and much to my pleasant surprise, my two strongest weapons are won-ton soup and crisp gala apples.

I'd love to talk about how apples once spread across the American countryside for the sole purpose of providing hard apple cider for the rugged settlers, or how no single seed from an apple has the same genetic code (so you could potentially get five different trees from one apple!) but I think that Michael Pollan has me covered there.

Instead, I'd like to give you a recipe. This recipe is a reminder that when the newness and wonder of the crunch of an apple wears away, there is an escape.

Baked Apples

4 good-sized apples (preferably less meaty and more crunchy varieties... like fuji's, granny smiths, etc.) washed and cored
1 tbs. unsalted butter, cut into four pieces
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup walnuts, chopped
1/2-1 tsp. cinnamon (up to personal tastes)
either, 1 can of apple juice and 1/2 cup water or 1 1/2 cups water

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Place the cored apples in a glass baking dish that's at least an inch and a half deep.

Put the walnuts in a foil package or on a baking tray and place in the oven. You'll want to bake them for maybe 10 minutes or less- so that they're nice and toasted.

When the walnuts are done and slightly cooled, combine them with the sugar and cinnamon. You can also add raisins or currants here too if you'd like. Then place a portion of the butter in the core of each apple, followed by a spoonful or two of the mixture. Needless to say you'll want it evenly distributed among the apples.

Pour the apple juice/water mixture or water in the bottom of the dish so that the apples are partially submerged. Then place in the oven. Cook for 40 minutes (but check about halfway through or so because you don't want mushy apples!) You'll want to pull them out when they're tender, or when a fork pierces them easily (but doesn't cause them to fall apart!)

Serve with vanilla ice cream or heavy whipping cream.

Enjoy!

The (lost) Art of Walking

In the main stacks of UC Berkeley library there's a wall where the librarians display the covers of new books. I was struck quite strongly (actually almost insulted) by one: "The Lost Art of Walking"... mainly because, to me, the art of walking is not lost. On the contrary, it's more alive than ever.

I don't think I understood the art of walking until college- or really until Irine introduced me to its capacity to change lives.

My high school experience resembled a tightly regimented cycle, with music, school, and track practice each occupying a space of time as I ticked through the day. Then college life brought the unexpected- free time. Yet along with the free time came so many new challenges that didn't exist in my routine high school life. I needed some way to cope, some way to let off steam, or at least some way to let the thoughts and worries that collected in my head evaporate into the fresh air.

I don't know when it happened exactly, but on a chilly day my first roommate and now one of my very best friends was also the first person that I really WENT for a walk with. And for no reason other than to escape a dorm room and talk about life. Aside from one particular 1 mile track race, I never felt more alive, with the cold air entering my lungs and my senses so awake.

But it really wasn't just the walking. It was the company.

Irine is the kind of person that makes you want to actually go out and accomplish the things that you only dream about during the drollness of the day. She's also that person that knows how to give just the right advice at the right time... making you know that in the end, everything's going to be fine. Combined with some epic walks, these qualities were enough to inspire me to try so many new experiences throughout the last three years and not be afraid to express myself. I'm so grateful for such a profoundly life-changing friendship.

Our conversations took unpredictable paths as we made our way along tree-lined streets and the more urban landscapes of the city. I remember talking about tough things, really superfluous but refreshing things, and all of those grandiose academic things that we studied on the side. We constructed grand edifices with our words, and knocked them down with hearty laughter. It got to the point where all I wanted to do at the end of the day was go for a walk.

Ann Arbor's got a few really lovely spots for food. One of them happens to be the famous Zingerman's deli, which also has an amazing bakery. Once a week we'd walk out to Zingerman's and get a latte (Irine), hot chocolate (me), and bran muffins. Then we'd amble back to campus for our joke of a macroeconomics course, laughing along the way.

I truly miss those walks, and those muffins. So for quite some time now I've been working on various bran muffin recipes. If you ask my poor roommate James, he's had to try about three or four varieties of bran bread in the last two weeks alone (because I don't have a muffin tin, I've used these baking pans to make "bran bread")... but I've come up with something comforting nonetheless. The base of the recipe comes from none other than Heidi Swanson of 101 cookbooks. She does such a good job of making creative recipes with whole grains and fresh produce that taste superb. I substituted some oat bran, flavored yogurt, and other add-ins to the mixture.

Bran Bread
adapted from 101 Cookbooks

1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
1 1/2 cups oat bran
1/2 cup wheat bran
3/4 tsp. salt
1 1/4 tsp. baking soda
3-4 tbs. raw cane sugar
2 cups vanilla yogurt... (see note below!)
1 egg, lightly beaten
2 tbs canola oil or melted butter
1/2 tsp vanilla extract (*optional)
3/4 tsp. cinnamon (again, *optional)
1/2 cup walnuts
1/2 cup golden raisins
*If you're really cool, you'll sprinkle sunflower seeds on top.

Preheat oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit

Measure out the flour, brans, sugar, salt, baking soda, cinnamon, walnuts and raisins into one bowl. Then mix the wet ingredients (yogurt, honey, egg, oil, etc.) in another, larger bowl. Fold the dry ingredients into the wet and mix... but not too much. You'll find that the batter is clumpy and even a bit dry-looking. That's ok!

Pour batter in a large baking pan (or individual muffin tins... maybe 1/3-1/2 of the way down) and bake until a fork inserted in the bread comes out clean. She says 10-15 minutes, but I remember mine taking about 30 or so. Then again, I'm making bread and she made muffins.

* On the yogurt. I've had my best results with non-fat vanilla from Brown Cow. Now I recognize that that brand is local, so I'd just recommend finding a good, thicker yogurt to use (non-fat to high fat is fine) without high fructose corn syrup or any of those synthetic sweeteners! If you want to use plain then go ahead, but just add 1/2 cup honey to the wet ingredients.

Serve with honey, butter, peanut butter, or jam. The bread is best when heated!

Enjoy!

The Breakfast Club

There was once a time when I woke up solely for the purpose of opening a door.

Well, it wasn't just any old door- it was the door to 2809 Frederick, my freshman dorm room. My amazing roommate Irine and I would awake from our respective slumbers, stumble out of our beds, and get ready for class. I'd blast some random music from my computer, which, I admit, had a known history of getting stuck in our heads throughout the rest of the day (there was an unfortunate incident when Bob Marley ran continuously through Irine's amply knowledgeable mind on a day in which she had three exams...my fault!). When we were completely ready, Irine and I would open our door- and that's how the day began.

You see, waiting for us outside the door (maybe leaning against the hallway walls, or sitting on the 70's style carpet) was a group of pretty wonderful people (of which Ana was a member I might add!) Our very good friends happened to also be our neighbors- I don't know a time when that will ever occur again in my life. And for a brief moment, I believe, we'd all rub our sleepy eyes and realize that we were all so lucky to be together. It was with this group of people that I witnessed my first snowfall, laughed my way through an "honors" classics class, saw "Dirty Dancing" for the first time, played on a broomball team, and stole cafeteria trays to slide down snow-covered hills.

After reuniting in the hallway, we'd begin our routine. Our pathway never changed- down the stairs, through the commons, past the small newspaper stand (two of us would grab a paper), and across the way to the dorm across the street. The mornings were silent, so we entertained ourselves with squabbles, jokes, and the occasional question about the upcoming class that we shared together.

By the end of the first semester, we began calling ourselves the Breakfast Club. We were quite the raconteurs in the somnolent scene of the cafeteria. We'd sit next to tall basketball players and crew team members, and as they chugged down their protein filled breakfasts, we'd snap at each other about politics or laugh about the most random things.

There was another reason I got up though- breakfast itself. If you can't tell already, I live to eat... so one of my favorite things about the cafeteria that we frequented was the fact that it had a decent collection of fruit. Quite often, we'd see melons, grapes, pineapple, and, if we were lucky, bananas.

Bananas were not an everyday occurrence, but when they did make an appearance, they were of the perfect ripeness. It seemed like on days when they didn't serve bananas, slices of banana bread would appear next to the fruit. Perhaps, this was some kind gesture to save us from eating overripe bananas. The banana bread was quite the saccharine concoction- but it provided enough of a sugar rush to take on our first class in one fell swoop.

Breakfast has a fond place in my heart for many reasons, but one of which is definitely the Breakfast Club. Whenever I come across banana bread, I think about the days when I ate in a dorm cafeteria and lived with 1200 other people (or something)... and although I don't think I could live like that again, I remember liking those days. a lot.

Now that I'm home, I once again see bananas on a daily basis... and about once every couple of weeks three of them get a little too ripe. So I make banana bread. I've experimented a lot with recipes, and taking health into concern I've discovered a wonderful one that doesn't require any butter. It's quite famous as it has been debuted here and remastered here.

So here is my version! It has walnuts instead of chocolate chips, and a bit less sugar.

A Slightly Healthy Banana Bread
Only very slightly adapted from the two versions above

1 1/2 cups flour
3/4 cup sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/4-1/2 cup chopped walnuts
3 very ripe bananas (preferrably medium to large sized), mashed
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 large eggs

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease an 8" x 5" pan (or whatever you'd like!) Mix dry ingredients in a large bowl and the wet in a smaller one. Add the wet ingredients to the dry and mix well. Pour mixture into the pan and set in the oven. Cook for 35-40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

I added granola to the top of this one for fun.

Enjoy!

That Feeling in the Pit of your Stomach

I'm sure you're familiar with it.

Perhaps it strikes when you've just said something utterly awkward, bringing an exchange of light-hearted banter among friends to a complete and painful stop... or maybe it hits when you've just encountered the pivotal question on an exam, only to discover that it focuses on the one concept that you didn't review the night before.

For me, it happens when I'm baking. Whenever I open the oven door, my stomach does a perfect flip, and then proceeds to free-fall towards the floor.

I guess it's some kind of evolutionary defense mechanism- the mind communicating quite expressively to the body: "Don't do this again!" So it'd be logical to assume that my brain is telling me, for goodness sake, not to bake. I mean, ever! My survival depends on it!

Yet, for some reason I keep coming back to that imposing oven. In the last two weeks alone I've opened its monstrous metal door only to find rock-hard chocolate cocoa cookies, tasteless granola, and sickeningly sweet banana nut instant-oatmeal cookies (admittedly an experiment) in the warm cavity within.



So that's why you might not see too many baking recipes on this site. I think I'm more evolutionarily fit to prepare slow-cooked vegetables, green salads, hearty soups, and stir-fries of varying proportions rather than the mouthwatering fruit crisps, tarts, chocolate cakes, and flawless cookies that you'll find elsewhere.... but this also means that if a baked recipe does happen to show its face in this domain, it is either (a) foolproof and/or (b) pretty delicious.

I promise though, until that day when I can open the oven without my stomach fearfully fleeing the scene, I'll tip-toe surreptitiously into baking territory and save you from the struggle that ensues.

This particular recipe somehow worked for me- even with my usual tweaking of the recipe in lieu of missing ingredients (yes. I know. I believe this might be a reason for my blackened thumb in baking... but let's not go there yet!) It's from a beautiful blog called 3191 miles apart. I'll attach the link to the original recipe as well, since mine is a bit different.

Sesame Oatmeal Cookies

adapted from this recipe

1 cup whole wheat flour
1 1/2 cups rolled oats
1-1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup unsweetened coconut
1/2 cup sesame seeds
1/2 cup honey
1/2 cup melted earth balance butter*
3/4 cup vanilla yogurt (or try Trader Joe's "vanana" flavor- it's divine)
1/2 cup nuts, dried fruits, and/or chocolate (I used golden raisins and sunflower seeds)
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

*this is soy butter... feel free to substitute canola oil (1/2 cup) or real melted butter (unsalted!)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. If using butter, melt it in the microwave or heating oven

Combine dry ingredients (flour, baking powder, salt, oats, coconut, sesame seeds, nuts/raisins/chocolate, and cinnamon) in a bowl and stir until well-incorporated.

Combine the honey, melted butter, and yogurt in a bowl. Stir until well-incorporated.

Pour wet ingredients into dry ingredients and stir until everything is mixed in- it'll be a pretty wet batter. Spoon onto a baking pan with a regular tablespoon. I like my cookies to be substantial so for me this recipe makes only about 9-12 cookies. Feel free to size them however you'd like.

Cook for 5-8 minutes, checking pretty often. They'll be done when the tops (and bottoms) are slightly browned.